In the Hindu scriptures Manu the great sage gave us four stages in life : The First "Brahmacharya" or the Student Stage, the Second -"Grihatsa" or the Householder Stage, the Third "Vanaprastha" or the Hermit Stage, the Fourth “Sannyasa" or the Wandering Ascetic Stage. I had completed the first stage and was on the threshold of the second stage. It was a natural progression and we never questioned the whys and wherefores of moving from one stage to the other.
The whole exercise of getting married also consisted of stages! In our society the first step was: a proposal would come from the girl’s family; then a date would be fixed for the boy’s family (with or without him!) to go and “see” the girl. This was the most interesting part! We would be royally welcomed and then we would be given the best savouries to feast on and last the girl would be all dressed up in finery and presented before us! We were of course then allowed to talk with her (this was very rare though in our times!) Many a scam has occurred where the younger and prettier sister would be shown and the marriage would take place with the older one! After this the boy’s family would send a letter of acceptance and then the serious business of planning the wedding would take place. The bride and bridegroom had no part in this!
As I was one of the most eligible bachelors at that time many proposals came for me. I had the fun of visiting many girls! The first one that I had liked had been fairly tall, unfortunately her father died and the marriage was canceled. There was a long list of rejections-one was a doctor who was very thin and her family was involved in some nefarious activities, another was very short but her sister’s character was doubtful! I did like one but she had other higher goals in life and another who was closely related. I had a very strong stipulation of marrying someone who fulfilled my criteria listed from A to Z; like age, beauty, character, dowry etc. In this long drawn out process, time was running out and everyone was becoming impatient so I accepted the proposal of the daughter of the SP of Cuttack who was posted with my father several times and her brother was my friend from Keonjhar days. Our engagement lasted for several months and we married just before a transfer.
In 1961 my services were placed at the disposal of electricity dept and a long period of deputation started. The job was investigation of a water supply scheme on river Nandira by making a small dam. I had 3 overseers and six khalasis to help. We lived in a Swiss cottage tent with separate tents for toilet and kitchen on the bank of the river. The khalasis used to dig a pit in the dry river bed and from here sparkling clean water used to be revealed- we had our bath there! There was a small forest around the camping area and a village nearby. It was a different kind of honeymoon- in natural settings!
While we were here we met one old Trivandrum friend with his wife and it was good to meet up and exchange news. There was a small official quarter where we used to go once a week. The nearest town was Angul. We used to go there for marketing and for watching movies.
I had earlier opted for roads and buildings dept for better places of postings but an old request of deputation to the Engineering College was acted upon, and my services was lent to the industry dept for posting at Cuttack. Due to some internal political pressure I was however posted at Jharsuguda a small business town. I took a small house on rent and took my wife there. She was not very happy since her dreams of a big bungalow with servants and jeeps were not fulfilled.
I purchased a 350cc bullet motorcycle with her money from Rourkela, and brought it by road. On the way the engine seized. It was evening and the road was lonely. But as luck would have it a truck driven by a Sardar appeared from nowhere. With his help I reached home very late. My father in law visited this place once but did not take food following the custom in those days. We had a few friends and there was a servant boy to help in the cooking.
A regional engineering college was being set up at Rourkela. They were in need of a lecturer in Civil Engineering with a NCC background. As I was the only one with this combination I was sent on deputation as a lecturer. I was in charge of the college NCC wing and also became the superintendent of the hostel. As was the rule, half of the boys were from other states and there used to be tension.
The secretary of the board was our family friend; I got one servant to cook; the place was at the local ITI with a brand new Police colony; I had the Bullet to move around in; In short life was different but interesting and happy. The job was very interesting and soon my name was sent for commission in the NCC rifles, without pre-commission training but it had to pass through Army headquarters. Since I was already in army, I had to relinquishing the army commission with effect from the date of NCC commission. This is the beginning of a series of resignations in my life, as was series of deputations from the parent department.
Life was wonderful-my pay and allowances was Rs 860 a princely sum with income tax deduction of only Rs 50; petrol price was 50 paisa a liter; I was also a head examiner of Engineering schools and an Examiner in the college. We had an active social life and used to be invited to the functions held in German Club and to the attached Max Mueller Bhawan, where lovely German girls used to work.
A period of life when we were both relaxed and enjoyed life to the maximum. A good foray into the beginning of the Grihatsa phase!
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