Interpretation of Happiness

Happiness is such an elusive thing ... as slippery as an eel!

When you look back you realize that there are a lot of things that could  have made you unhappy as a child. Frequent pain and injuries; fever and illness; mischief and mistakes! But you are never aware of all these for the adults around you are supposed to be responsible. The only major unhappiness could come from the fact that you are scolded or you are denied something you desire but these are temporary phases. My childhood, student days and bachelor days were happy as it possibly could be.

 My father was my ideal but I used to have different ideas and used to argue with him about many things. (I think he used to like me more than my other siblings because of this! As they would agree to whatever he said!). Bapa was a sworn Pessimist and he told me once that as I was an optimist I would suffer in case of misfortune, and I replied that a pessimist is eternally suffering whereas an optimist suffers once in a while!

In our huge family of ten children Father was the figurehead and my mother used to rule the roost by using his name as proxy! She ruled by instilling fear among the children by saying that maternal uncle are to be feared. She kept our interaction with father and uncles to the minimum. Maybe this was required as she was most of the time alone with us and to control eight unruly boys must have been difficult!

I remember when Bapa used to come for lunch we were all driven out of the house! I realized the distortion of truth very early and when I went to visit my maternal uncles for three months I discovered that they were no Ogres but loving Uncles!

I fully understood my Father when he retired and discovered a person who was so different from what was described to us by my mother. He used to go on repeating that he did not believe in God. One day I told him that because he was repeating this fact, it shows that there is a doubt in his mind! I later found out that he was very religious till he went to medical college! (Like I have said before his parents had become sanyasis before they died and my grandfather had also been a doctor!) Till Bapa passed away he used to keep a picture of Radha and Krishna by his bedside! Then he used to say that he did not believe in Astrology yet he kept all the almanacs and horoscopes in palm leaf of all his children!

As I grew older a new phase set in……After marriage and children, there was happiness but it was mixed with the usual difference with the spouse. But as I loved my jobs it covered up this emotion very well. So life went on these two wheels.

 

Once I had gone for a check up to the doctor who found it strange that I was still working at 66 then my elder daughter told him that I was terrified of retirement. My wife used to suggest that I read Ramayana and Mahabharata and I would reply that I would do so after my retirement.

Now the children have gone off, the real phase of unhappiness has set in. With everything accomplished, I am still not happy. I have no new goals to achieve maybe I should set myself some new ones! In spite of my son in law teaching me about the glories of positive thinking, negative thoughts creep in!

The same sun shines; the seasons come with the same regularity; the same emotions rule the world but the happiness is not the same. Maybe too much of knowledge does not allow you to be happy!

Change is the only constant!

In 1962 the India- China war broke out. In the college I used to make the staff do the drill everyday in preparation of any eventuality. My routine was – morning NCC parade; during the day one lecture and one drawing class; evening was solely devoted to hostel duties- I was kept very busy during these days. I was soon selected to be the Asst. Professor in a newly created Drawing department. But soon after this in 1963 I was promoted in my parent department to the rank of Executive engineer and I had to make a choice between the college and this and I decided to leave the college with a heavy heart. By now my eldest daughter had been born; she was named Anita. It was new experience to feel responsible for a tiny new human being.

In the beginning I was posted at the HO (Bhubaneswar). Apa had gone to the USA during this period so we enjoyed staying in her house and using her car!  Biju Patnaik was the Chief Minister at this time and he decided to break the monopoly of two to three bridge builders of India viz. Gammons, Hindustan and a smaller Shah construction.  I joined the small company and shifted to a place known as Chainpal on the bank of a canal in a rented house. The site was a km or two for a bridge over Birupa and the other sites were minor bridges and one bridge on Badagenguti within 5 km in the Doab of the two rivers. I constructed temp accommodation on the bank of the river with water and electricity.

Meanwhile I had a second daughter, very cute and beautiful. I brought my family to this temporary abode. This had three rooms. Officially we were provided with servants and cooks. My neighbor was a chap from Bangalore, who had come over from Gammons. The work of sinking of wells started in full swing and food and climate was good. I used to go to Cuttack and Bhubaneswar officially, so my wife was very happy.

One major lesson I learnt during this period was not to take unnecessary risks!-

One well refused to sink so I decided to do a limited blasting. We were connecting the detonators with the blaster for a test and the electrician connected the wires ahead of time and there was a small blast. My right side including one eye got  sand and copper particles, and the electrician got it in both eyes. We shifted to the medical college hospital and got out after a couple of days, but the other chap got cataract in both the eyes. My company did not help in any way! I hired a lawyer who took a princely sum of Rs 500 for bribing the police not to register a case. My boss Rajeswar Rao asked me to take leave so that no damage suit could be instituted against the company.

I then moved to a large stone quarry at Haridaspur having one primary and about 10 secondary crushers. The main aim was to provide 10 ton stone boulders for the breakwater of the Paradip port. The stones were huge; one truck could carry one stone piece only!  After about a year, I shifted with family to a pucca house built by me on the foothills. This had a dry stone compound wall and a small swimming pool built with one side jutting out of the mountain face.

One very queer thing happened while I was here. One of my Asst Engineers Subas Pati was supposed to go to Bhutmundi for some inauguration. I asked him not to go and asked my wife to persuade his wife not to let him as I had a premonition of some disaster. But he did go and died in a jeep accident.

Soon my next project came up and I was asked to shift to the prestigious Mahanadi Bridge on the same expressway. I sent my family to my in laws place in Cuttack, and shifted to the site. Here I built a beautiful house, which according to my boss Rao looked like a cinema hall! Biren Patnaik was my boss for this posting. He was a wonderful human being and I adopted him as my guru and mentor!

This was a period of happiness with different parameters. I really learnt the art of bridge construction here. We enjoyed life with frequent parties; bird shootings; good food and comfortable stay. I did not own car, I had an official jeep. Once while traveling to Cuttack the jeep broke down and I had to hitchhike! Every visitor who happened to visit Paradip would drop in and take me as a guide. I became an expert of bridges and the port in the process.

This period was a prelude to the many changes that would follow me through my life.

Though my wife was unhappy with the frequent changes, I enjoyed them. I learnt all my lessons in life through them. There were many ups and downs but when you are down you can only go up! This thought fueled my optimism and life went on…..

Advent of the Grihatsa Phase

In the Hindu scriptures Manu the great sage gave us four stages in life : The First "Brahmacharya" or the Student Stage, the Second -"Grihatsa" or the Householder Stage, the Third "Vanaprastha" or the Hermit Stage, the Fourth “Sannyasa" or the Wandering Ascetic Stage. I had completed the first stage and was on the threshold of the second stage. It was a natural progression and we never questioned the whys and wherefores of moving from one stage to the other.

The whole exercise of getting married also consisted of stages! In our society the first step was: a proposal would come from the girl’s family; then a date would be fixed for the boy’s family (with or without him!) to go and “see” the girl. This was the most interesting part! We would be royally welcomed and then we would be given the best savouries to feast on and last the girl would be all dressed up in finery and presented before us! We were of course then allowed to talk with her (this was very rare though in our times!) Many a scam has occurred where the younger and prettier sister would be shown and  the marriage would take place with the older one! After this the boy’s family would send a letter of acceptance and then the serious business of planning the wedding would take place. The bride and bridegroom had no part in this! 

As I was one of the most eligible bachelors at that time many proposals came for me. I had the fun of visiting many girls! The first one that I had liked had been fairly tall, unfortunately her father died and the marriage was canceled. There was a long list of rejections-one was a doctor who was very thin and her family was involved in some nefarious activities, another was very short but her sister’s character was doubtful! I did like one but she had other higher goals in life and another who was closely related. I had a very strong stipulation of marrying someone who fulfilled my criteria listed from A to Z; like age, beauty, character, dowry etc. In this long drawn out process, time was running out and everyone was becoming impatient so I accepted the proposal of the daughter of the SP of Cuttack who was posted with my father several times and her brother was my friend from Keonjhar days. Our engagement lasted for several months and we married just before a transfer.

In 1961 my services were placed at the disposal of electricity dept and a long period of deputation started. The job was investigation of a water supply scheme on river Nandira by making a small dam. I had 3 overseers and six khalasis to help. We lived in a Swiss cottage tent with separate tents for toilet and kitchen on the bank of the river. The khalasis used to dig a pit in the dry river bed and from here sparkling clean water used to be revealed- we had our bath there! There was a small forest around the camping area and a village nearby.  It was a different kind of honeymoon- in natural settings!

While we were here we met one old Trivandrum friend with his wife and it was good to meet up and exchange news. There was a small official quarter where we used to go once a week. The nearest town was Angul. We used to go there for marketing and for watching movies.

I  had earlier opted for roads and buildings dept for better places of postings but an old request of deputation to the Engineering College was acted upon, and my services was lent to the industry dept for posting at Cuttack. Due to some internal political pressure I was however posted at Jharsuguda a small business town.  I took a small house on rent and took my wife there. She was not very happy since her dreams of a big bungalow with servants and jeeps were not fulfilled.

I purchased a 350cc bullet motorcycle with her money from Rourkela, and brought it by road. On the way the engine seized. It was evening and the road was lonely. But as luck would have it a truck driven by a Sardar appeared from nowhere. With his help I reached home very late. My father in law visited this place once but did not take food following the custom in those days. We had a few friends and there was a servant boy to help in the cooking.

A regional engineering college was being set up at Rourkela. They were in need of a lecturer in Civil Engineering with a NCC background. As I was the only one with this combination I was sent on deputation as a lecturer. I was in charge of the college NCC wing and also became the superintendent of the hostel. As was the rule, half of the boys were from other states and there used to be tension.

The secretary of the board was our family friend; I got one servant to cook; the place was at the local ITI with a brand new Police colony; I had the Bullet to move around in; In short life was different but interesting and happy. The job was very interesting and soon my name was sent for commission in the NCC rifles, without pre-commission training but it had to pass through Army headquarters. Since I was already in army, I had to relinquishing the army commission with effect from the date of NCC commission. This is the beginning of a series of resignations in my life, as was series of deputations from the parent department.

Life was wonderful-my pay and allowances was Rs 860 a princely sum with income tax deduction of only Rs 50; petrol price was 50 paisa a liter; I was also a head examiner of Engineering schools and an Examiner in the college. We had an active social life and used to be invited to the functions held in German Club and to the attached Max Mueller Bhawan, where lovely German girls used to work.

A period of life when we were both relaxed and enjoyed life to the maximum. A good foray into the beginning of the Grihatsa phase!

Plotting my Career Graph- The Beginning

The carefree days of college were over. But I was all agog to begin an independent life. I felt, it held many exciting adventures and trials and tests which would make life interesting.

I began as a Junior Engineer in the Irrigation department.  I stayed with Apa, who was then the State School Medical Officer. Soon I was transferred to Keonjhar. It felt good to work in my favourite place- I did the survey on the same mountain that I used to climb as a child. I felt as if I was paying back some of my dues!

But the honeymoon period was over! I appeared for the interview for the post of an Assistant Engineer and was posted in South Orissa in Berhampur. Away from home and its comforts, I worked with one overseer; ate only rice and one curry; slept on Charpoys (a rustic bed with ropes woven through a frame as support) and generally had a hard life. Every phase has a reason in the universe- this prepared me for the hard life of Civil Engineers!

This period paid off- I was soon posted to Akhuapada close to home. I had a staff of twenty seven. I now official had a jeep and an outboard motor for tours. (was on tour for fifteen days a month!) During this nine months posting I was the first and maybe the last SDO who visited all the areas under my jurisdiction! I do remember clearly the Dak bungalow I visited in the coast canal. It had a huge banyan tree growing in the center of the drawing room! The last anyone had visited this place was the Collector in 1942! I recommended that it should be dismantled.

Some interesting facts that I garnered during this time are - The coast canals were built before the railways, and was used for traveling by boat up to Calcutta. The Dak bungalows were built between the canal and the sea. It was difficult to reach these places as the roads were bad and slushy. So the jeep was used to reach the canals- boat to cross it and then by foot to the resting place! In one such trip I found that the chowkidar (watchman cum caretaker) was a young girl of hardly sixteen- she had taken over her father’s job after his death! Her name was Rama which could also be a boy’s name so she continued this work!

To get my first increment I had to pass a Law examination. This was so because in the olden days the SDO was also a third class magistrate and used to try cases under the Bengal irrigation Act.

After my new posting I discovered a diary written by an English ISE officer. He had written elaborately about the operation of the gates of the Anicut and the canals. This diary was written in old yellowish ink made out of a fruit known as harida.  I also found a note book on the history of wells written by an Asst. Engineer S.K. Palit, who was now my boss, who had been by now been promoted to the post of Chief Engineer!

All young men of my time had a very romantic view of the Army. Having failed to get the regular commission in the Army, I went to the interview for regular reserve in the Army (this allowed you to remain in the civil job and would be called only in case of emergency).

I went for this and turned it into a kind of holiday cum sightseeing trip. The Army had given me a ticket up till Meerut. From here I went to Srinagar (I had an uncle who was posted as DSP there but unfortunately he was transferred by the time I reached there!) I stayed in a boathouse on Jhelum. The tariff was Rs 10 a day inclusive of food! I went for an all-round trip of the river and Dal Lake for Rs.5. The serenity and beauty of this place is still fresh in my mind. In my subsequent trips to Srinagar I did notice that the purity and freshness reduced and now we cannot been think of visiting there! The bus trip took four days because of one lane traffic and landslides. An awesome experience nevertheless! The whole adventure cost me Rs.500.

I was never bored though my postings were in remote places. I recall using leather belts and high jump shoes to climb the eucalyptus trees in Akhuapada. I built myself a pair of water skis and used the motor boat to ski on the river. I had a huge bungalow to myself (four bedrooms!) with five acres of land around it filled with trees. For the first time I started eating fish as this was available in plenty. My salary was Rs. 300 and this was a lot of money for me.

In Dec 1959 I was transferred to a project known as Delta Irrigation Scheme. This was in Mundali close to Cuttack. I was assigned one jeep and a motorboat. The change was that the accounting system here was resident audit, whereas in the regular sub division it was post audit.

I learned the details of how large construction projects run. I did small design jobs like circular beams and slabs, complete electrical design for township, operating bulldozers to make roads, and operation of compressors, drilling and blasting stone quarries. After college this was a practical learning period for me.

 Almost every Sundays I used to go to Cuttack for watching English cinemas (the only form of entertainment then!) and several times to Bhubaneswar on official duties.

Another exam to pass for the second increment! I passed the professional exam- this consisted of a design and drawing paper and also Oriya in high standard. I was not required to appear for this as I had already done it in school but I wanted to help few Telugu/Karnataka friends.

I got the commission as second lieutenant in corps of Engineers (Bengal group) and was attached to Sub Area at Lucknow and later changed to Danapur.  But I never got the retention fee of Rs 200 till today. This was due to the inefficiency of the defense accounting system.

These years were a period of learning, examinations and going forward in life in a different level than those of a student. It was more practical than theory. Learning about real life is more satisfying than the pictures that we weave when we are students. My life was on an exponential growth and I wondered than where I would end up in!

Door to a Whole New World

Having an older sibling in the educational institute has its plus and minus points. It stops the attacks of fear but it also restricts your freedom in many ways!

My eldest brother left after his course in electrical engineering. In the beginning he was my guardian in matters if money and outings. Most of the students from Orissa were grouped together irrespective of the year they were studying in. Later I had my own account with Rs 1500 for the whole year. The princely sum of Rs 200 was for the college / university fees. I managed with the rest of this amount for all years except in the final year, in which I asked for another Rs. 200 for an all India tour.

After Bhai left I felt lonely but the feeling of independence made up for it. The closeness with the junior boys from Orissa was absent but this was made up by the boys from East Africa. Both the Indians and Africans became very close and friendly with me. We as a group were invited to USIS for competition and parties. In general knowledge I remained at the top and used to bag all prizes and get books as prizes in bundles. I was also a member of the public library. I used to spend hours here and studied all subject including history. History because I wanted to compensate for the deficiency of historical knowledge during my school days!

Once from college we went for a survey camp .We had to stay in a remote place and do survey for a duration of fifteen days. Here for the first time I cooked a pigeon in a ghee tin borrowed from the cook! The resulting soup was of course delicious. Other than this the usual NCC camps were held once a year. The Republic day parades and college functions  held annually used to be a real thrill!

We went for an Irrigation tour during this time. This was like an Engineering cum historical tour- we visited all the ancient projects in the state of Travancore and the beautiful high hills and forests. Finally after the final exams we went for a South India tour which terminated at Bombay. The study tour was very educative and practical. It gave us an insight into practical engineering and allowed us to dream of the future. We saw how siphons and aqueducts are built across hills and small large dams around South India. We also saw the water treatment plants of Bombay and water supply scheme of Trivandrum.

Bapa had now been transferred back to Cuttack He was now the professor of Forensic Medicine in the SCB Medical College in Cuttack, in addition to his other duties. My eldest Sister was now a doctor; eldest brother an electrical engineer; the second elder brother was in the central intelligence; In short all the three older siblings were employed.  I did want to do my post graduation but my request for further study was denied for a very good reason- we had another six children in the family to study and become independent. A disappointment, but life has its ups and downs!

I knew that I was a full fledged Engineer when I got my result from a Malayalam news paper Kerala Kaumudi. I remember that this paper was available at the Madras Hotel. There was a whole new world waiting to be explored and built upon and I went back to my home state to begin my career as an Engineer.

A New Person – The first years in Engineering college

In 1953 around July/August we left for Trivandrum the capital of Travancore Cochin State (Now Kerala) and took up residence in the university hostel which was walking distance from the College of Engineering and the University College.

It was a whole new world here, very different from my home state! This state had the highest literary percentage in India so it was no surprise that the enrollment of The University College had 50% of girl students. The common room was a huge affair; I had never seen one like this before! The girls were very different too; they were more outgoing and smart! They washed their long black hair everyday and left it loose to dry and this was quite entrancing. The language spoken there was Malayalam, but you as the literacy rate was high most of them knew English and we could manage to communicate quite well.

It was an exciting new world. I joined the NCC, and became a Sergeant; joined four items in athletics; played games. I used to excel in rifle shooting, and won a few prizes in athletics at the cost of the studies!

The rifle shooting range was at a distance in the hills. There were coconut trees all around us. The scene was green and vibrant. The competition was for Burdwan and Earl Roberts trophies, where individually I used to have highest points in the battalion; my rank was 7 in India; 25 internationally. Later I was promoted to the rank of Under Officer and passed my certificate B and C. What I remember about these days is the food provided to us at these camps- it was puri and potato curry with one banana, both for morning and noon- after the good healthy exercise it always tasted amazing!

In the final year I went for SSB interview at Bangalore, and failed because my IQ was said to be 150 as against the requirement of 120, the silver lining in the cloud was I stood first  in the rifle shooting competition.

NCC was wonderful those days- there was the winter annual camps, living in tents, getting tanned because of parades. Exposure to light machine guns, pistols and grenades, along with map reading trekking etc. was another exciting facet of this training.

NCC not only taught me discipline it also developed my leadership qualities which would be used later on in life. As a child I had been a loner, but now I became more sociable and made many friends. One person with whom I struck a wonderful friendship was Pyarelal from East Africa. I was also close to Gopalakrishnan who hailed from the state. There were few family friends living in the state.

One of them invited me to his house near Cochin. This was another first in my life- I went by an Indian Airlines flight (The ticket cost Rs 30 after a student concession!). The air hostess was an Anglo Indians wearing a skirt and the plane was a Dakota.

 After this I wanted to join the flying club. Unfortunately due to lack of time and the problem of transportation I was not able to fulfill this desire at that time. During this period I developed a friendship with Commander DeAlmeid and Major Menon. The former used to take me to the airfields and to the convents to see the sisters (nuns) and later to his beautiful home.

Studies continued but we had a lot of extracurricular activities. We used to hire bicycles for 50 annas to go for picnic .Our picnic fare consisted mainly of bread and butter! We also went many a time to the famous Kovalam beach a few miles from the city. This was a sheltered beach surrounded by land on three sides with coconut trees.

This place also saw the death of a first year east African Indian student by drowning.

Nowadays this is common news but then it was very sad for us.

 I used to write letters to three people: one was to my old friend from Keonjhar studying veterinary science at Hissar in Punjab (later this was a part of Haryana). The letter used to take one or two days to reach, since all letters then were airlifted, the second was my cousin from Baripada and the third was the girl from Cuttack. I and Pyarelal acquired a friend known as Mohan, who had a family of five sisters. They were Sindhis who had business in Ivory. We were invited for all functions and parties.

 Some tidbits that remain fresh in the mind are- I bought one air pistol for twenty-five rupees and one roller skate for the same amount.  I used to inform my younger brother in letters with sketches, and take them home for practice. Skating on the main roads; hanging onto buses was real fun; practicing shooting with the air pistol was another diversion.

These two years passed by very fast and were the most enlightening period of my life. I learnt to be more independent, I managed my finances by myself, and I made new friends. I discovered more traits about myself and enhanced my capabilities……